I just got back from a week-long trip to Miami with my 15-year-old to visit family and soak up some sun. Transitioning from vacation mode back to work always feels like a weird liminal space for me. Some people jump right back in, but for me, it’s an energetic process.

As I usually do on Mondays, I started the week with a deep meditation and an oracle card pull to set the tone. While I was shuffling, this video I saw recently popped into my head - some guy drawing a line graph with one axis labeled “Fuck Around” and the other “Find Out.” You probably know the one, the more you fuck around, the more you find out. But then he points to the very bottom corner and says, “If you don’t fuck around, you won’t find out.”

I don’t know, that blew my mind, lol.

The video kept echoing in my head while I shuffled. And then a card dropped out of my deck and smacked the table: Blessings and Abundance. My jaw dropped. I immediately wrote the phrase on my whiteboard, right under my vision board, and suddenly all the visuals I had pinned there started radiating with new meaning.

Okay, I realize this might sound a little trippy, haha, but it felt so real. I could hear Dave Chappelle’s voice in my head, “MESSAGE!”

We’ve been taught that “fuck around and find out” is a warning. That following the rules is safe, and risk is irresponsible. But staying safe all the time keeps us stuck. Small. Complacent. Nothing grows there.

The truth is, if we want to find out what’s possible, we have to fuck around a little - with ideas, with our work, with ourselves. Fucking around can be playful. Experimental. Even sacred.

When I think about it, I completely fucked around when I changed my career. And what did I find out? Life got a whole lot better. If I’d kept walking a path that wasn’t mine, I would’ve stayed miserable.

My more recent fuckery? Taking a sculpture class. It helped break the monotony of production, and gave me a whole new outlet. It’s made my work with Cloud Commons feel more satisfying, more alive. I’m evolving, and it feels really good.

I’ve also been fucking around with letting go of the Monochrome collection. That one’s a little bittersweet. That collection has my heart, but I need to make space for what’s next.

Even on this trip with my son, I decided to fuck around and be more of a friend than just a mom. We connected deeply, in a way we never had before. I saw him. I think we’re closer now because of it.

The more I reflect, the more I realize… I’ve been fucking around quite a bit lately, and honestly? It’s led to some really beautiful things.